My Kickoff To Dating and Virginity At 21

 "Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

Back at my high school, that statement was pretty common among teenage boys looking for a girlfriend.   I was 17 pretty busy with journalism and ballet. I was not really interested.  

Most Americans lose their virginity at 17 via  a survey conducted by the Center of  Disease  Control. It is a statistic that I commonly agree with. It was in 10th or 11th grade, I actually started seeing "actual couples" and  teen pregnancy. 

Being a curious teen, I leaned to other  resources for information about sex and dating through entertainment .

I grew up in a Christian household as a preacher's kid. There were expectations  and dos and don'ts attached to me. 

Therefore dating and sex was that taboo conversation. 

Regardless,  sex education makes most Americans uncomfortable that is just our culture. 

It  applied to my life as well, dating and sex in my household were not talked about. I only knew about my menstrual cycle. 

" 'The Talk' was don't date until after college, wait until marriage to have sex."  It was about a 20 second conversation.  The end. 

Now, I am almost 22 years old, more mature with a lot to go. Never been in college or had a date nor first kiss. Looking back at it now, technically I am considered "late." Which is bittersweet. Bitter in terms of being the rare minority and thinking I did not do enough for speaking up for myself  against Christian parents.  Sweet in terms of being able to know what I need for myself to have those things.  

Therefore,  it's not really the best of both worlds. I felt more comfortable with my femininity, dating, physical appearance back in high school.  My regret is not doing it.  

Now my eyes have lines and I am more of a caregiver to my mom.

I think that also played a role in my late blooming along with losing my dad in 11th grade. 

Grief played another role. 

Getting that experience earlier could have prepared me. Especially right now, cause I do feel like the little curious kid.

Currently,  I can say " now I'm ready for dating " at 21 years old.

Before there is dating, there is the talking getting to know stage. That is the stage I am currently in. It looks different due to COVID, being new into the dating scene and my no experiences. 

 

I do require more time,cause I never got that time in. I am not a student, therefore a lot looks different for me. 

In terms of sex, its a big decision.  

I know more about sex education now and sexual health compared to high school me. I am ready. I know I am growing into my sexualiy more.  I started taking soca dance classes, it makes me feel more confident, barre helps with toning the body. Next, I will start with aerial yoga. 

I am starting off with a casual relationship  before a committed one.

I shy away from long term, even the most committed and "couple goals", the outcome can be short term. 

Being comfortable in my own self will prepare me, once I am ready for commitment,sex and seriousness. Relationships are not just about, it is about emotional and physical as well. I am continuing on taking soca dance classes and starting off with aerial yoga and a heels class !!

                                                    Credits and Citation

Fortenbury, J. (2014, March 28). On ’Late’-In-Life Virginity Loss. The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/on-late-in-life-virginity-loss/284412/