Vent Session : Confused with Dating Culture

  I am back once again. 

This midnight, I will be venting. 

I just go to the start without an itroduction. First is my self esteem, my self self esteem is up and down.  What has been affected it, is my face shape. Everyone has acne I use curology and am seeing slight changes. 

That makes ne feel like better,  I am in control. At the same time, my features are birdy and tweaky like just not mature. I like to feel more like a young lady, leave that "aww your so cute  and pretty"

I am 21 years old. Things like this holds me back  from approaching guys. 

Now that I am older,  I understand what  I'm looking for. A casual relationship more than just a friend not officially dating or bf and gf. Just someone to go on dates with for fun and get the experience of what goes on. Have fun and forget about everything. No judgements just enjoy myself with another person. 

I didn't start "dating" in high school middle school or never been on a date. ( I did get asked out in high school,  at the time I had alot going and wasn't ready) Now, I am. It makes me frustrated, upset, I don't know what I am doing,  I don't know who to go to for advice.  It makes me really sad. 

I spend most of time,  helping out my mom who is legally blind and has 7 health conditions and needs help almost 24/7. I have a mentor and consultation caregiver. I don't want to tell my mentor, I am feeling this way, cause its so personal. If its a female family nember or someone personally. I wouldn't mind.

If I do, I mention it indirectly .

My consultation caregiver has given me resources for my mom, so that I can focus on myself. 

I will like to update my wardrobe, I am going through this 20s stage. I, myself am constantly involving into an adult. So, I will look at clothes and see what my taste is. 

I been using Facebook Dating, its like, so far, I only been in constat talk with just one guy. He is okay, he is looking for long term,  I need short term, I haven't reach that level yet. 😂. 

Your thoughts and opnions, suggestions, words of motivations for me? Open to feedback. 

Goodnight. 🌙


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